found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
