Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
