I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
