Will you blow on my dice?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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