I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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