scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
