And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize