He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
