you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Let's paint friendship bongs
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Randomize