She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The uberlube is also flammable
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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