JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
