I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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