3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
