Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
