DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
