Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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