It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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