So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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