Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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