I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
