Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
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