You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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