I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize