just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
