where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
