Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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