C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
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She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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