Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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