There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
