You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
