We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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