Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
