Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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