Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
