hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
