I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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