alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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