Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
