Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
