What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
