You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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