What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize