I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
