bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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