Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
