Swine flu. Run for my life!
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
