why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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