I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
