Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
