im six kinds of drunk right now
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
