this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
