my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
