can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
