My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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