it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I touched a dick in church today
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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